May 2013
my homework strategy is called “leaving it till 2am and then crying”
does anyone else ever get really stressed over assignments and know that you should be doing them but you feel like you physically can’t stop procrastinating and that just stresses you out even more or is that just me
calvinmcfly:
i said i was only going online for 10 minutes. its been 5 years.
mewtoot:
i think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy
because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless
and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that
galacticdad:
growing up means realizing a lot of your old friends are assholes
me after running for 30 seconds: i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
samischino:
frapputwinko:
I hate when people cry in front of me like should I pat their head, should I grab their ass I don’t fucking know
mareeps:
today in yearbook this guy AJ was being really rude and disruptive so my teacher told him to act ladylike. instead of doing his usually disruptive stuff, every 30 seconds he would yell out
“MY BOOBS HURT”
“I NEED A MAN”
“IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY BEST YOU SURE AS HELL DONT DESERVE ME AT MY WORST”
“I CANT DRIVE”
“WHY DOES NOBODY LOVE ME”
Me: *sees book store* *looks to friend* *shuffles towards bookstore*
Friend: no.
heyfunniest:
everyone is getting a boyfriend and you know what im getting
FATTER
